The mother of two said she felt “terrified” she was defying the will of God even when the family would play broomball, a sport similar to hockey: “I thought I could be killed in a car accident on the way, because I didn’t know if God wanted me to stay home and read my Bible instead,” she said.Ĭhronicling her experience in her third book, “ Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith From Fear,” Duggar writes about how she was expected to fastidiously obey modesty guidelines, always obey her parents and authority figures, promote relationship standards of courtship, and avoid any music with a worldly beat.